Beginning of Day 7

Its the last day, tomorrow I will weigh in and see if I lost the 5 lbs that is my mini goal.

 Day 4 what good, I was at the Zoo so I packed my lunch. I realized with having my foods set up like this I have no need for fast food, so I have not eaten out one. That in itself is going to be great. On the way home I got a call for a Nutrisystem Rep and we had a short chat. I told him I want to do it but I need to see this week through and that I need to convince my hubby its worth the cost. So I have his number and I will give him a call tomorrow to talk about what we can do to make this work.

Day 5 was good, I found myself hungry when it was time to eat, and full when I was done. I have also noticed that I eat slower and I am taking the time to enjoy my meals and snacks. I do still need to treat snacks as meals, and sit and eat it at the same time, not over an hour. When I do that it messes up when I feel hungry.

Day 6 was a little out of walk. I was up early, and on the go a lot. so my timing for the day was all over the place. but at the end of the day I was ok. and really in the end I just need to feel like I'm doing better and I'm not too uncomfortable. I know I will be uncomfortable, that is normal when you tell your body it can't have what it wants and to do things it does not want to do. Now that I'm not feeling so hungry all the time I'm starting to be more active. Going to the zoo is good because I can walk all day and be really active and not even notice. My son loves it and we will go back and forth to see animals 2 or 3 times. It counts and its fun.

So today is my last day on the Fast 5. Tomorrow I will give my before and after weight, and a recap of how I feel. I will also have a plan for the month of February so that i don't just gain it back. This is it. I'm done being fat.

mini posts ok?

Again, my charts show i need to eat more... that will forever tick me off. tell me i'm fat because i eat too little... bull crap. but ok, i will add more good food to my meals, toss in a V-8 or 3. Also I'll fight my emotions and suck it up. Turn on some music, and move on. anyone have a favored workout song list?

also, are the short burst posts like this ok? With Zed, I don't feel like i can just sit and write out everything in one go. so pounding it out in mini form may end up being what i do. kinda like long facebook posts, but not... i don't really feel like that is the place for this. also i can come here are all my weight loss stuff is just here, no game crap or other posts to weed out to find what i am looking for. sound good?

also, i have been working out more, and now i just want to sleep more. is that going to be the thing now? before i did that, but it turns out i was also making a baby, so idk if this is just another thing. lol

o, also i found where my hidden calories were, i eat a LOT of nuts and peanut butter, any reason for craving nuts? or is that for the milk?

Week 13 Weigh-in

WEIGH-IN:

Start weight:                     265.0 lb

Weight change:                 Lost 24.4 lbs

Current weight:                 240.6 lbs

BMI Status:                      Obese

The week’s change:

-2.2 lbs

Goal weight:                   145.0 lb

% Goal Complete:          12.3%

% Time Complete:         10.4%

Days left:                         728

So I realized that my miles update on here anyway so no need to repeat. I really need to find my motivation. I lost over 2lbs this week so I should be happy, but I don’t feel too happy. I hate this season…  my head hurts and I need coffee. I’m going to go play minecraft… sorry everyone. I failed to post.  I did change my calorie needs to 1310 – 1660 per day.  So I should keep losing. I’ll keep it up.  The down feeling should go away soon, about the same time as the headaches thin down too. Funny how my mood changes everything. 

Week 12 Weigh-in

WEIGH-IN:

Start weight:                     265.0 lb

Weight change:                 Lost 22.2 lbs

Current weight:                 242.8 lbs

BMI Status:                      Obese

The week’s change:

-1.8 lbs

Goal weight:                   145.0 lb

% Goal Complete:          18.5%

% Time Complete:          9.7%

Days left:                         728

I’m sorry I’m late. I’ve been fighting with seasonal depression, add that to not knowing anyone in town, hiding from the rodeo that worked it's way into a nightmare last night, and toss in that time of the month (sorry to the men) and you have someone that feels very down. I have lost 1.8 lbs even with it being “shark week” (as I call it), so I should be happy. I’m almost out of the 240’s so that should be helping. I’ve lost 22+ lbs, and yes my clothes do fit better. But I still feel fat. When I take a bath I add bubbles to hide my fat. Know there is 20+ lbs less, but there is still 90+ lbs extra that I, and others, see.

When I was at PAX I stood in line for myself and others, kinda like a “gofer”, for food and coffee and other things. and when I would walk away with the stuff for 3 people I would get looks. That look that screams “you pig, going to go fatten up some more?” and they did nothing to hide it. Why should they? I leave the coffee shop with my coffee, and Shaun’s coffee (the same thing), and come back for a 3^rd for a friend (still the same). Some of the same people were there and one looked at me and said “jesus…” just that.

The thing is at the time I didn’t really care too much. But now that my mood is dark all the little things are trying to suffocate me. Yes Shaun is a loving husband but there is not a lot he can do. as I said, I have seasonal depression, and I live in Oregon. But yesterday I made my mind up. I may have seasonal depression, but seasonal depression does not have to have me. I don’t have to let it take over. I have a very dark and sad past that makes for the dreams that make you not want to sleep. But I dealt with all that. I don’t need to deal with it every fall. So I need to focus, change my thoughts, and keep my brain busy.

Shaun has been getting on to me for not writhing more, and I stopped logging food, and walking. I’m eating better, but that’s it. We had a talk, by that I mean he told me what was what and I said nothing because he is totally right and I needed to hear it. So I need to get back into my lists, logs, and walk daily. So the next week will be full of my thoughts, feeling, and random stuff. Next week’s weigh-in will have my miles for the week and my total. I said I was going to walk it off, and Shaun got me the tools to do it. I can’t just stop walking. So I’m moving that up in my day on my list of things to do. Coffee and a bite to eat, then walk. Everything else can be done after that. And no youtube walks, or tv type stuff for the first week. Music only! I love to walk to music, so I’ll walk to music.  

So I’ll stop here. There will be more to come this week. So I’ll talk at you latter. 

Week 11 full Weigh-in

WEIGH-IN:

Start weight:                     265.0 lb

Weight change:                 Lost 20.4 lbs

Current weight:                 244.6 lbs

BMI Status:                      Obese

The week’s change:

-1 lbs

Goal weight:                   145.0 lb

% Goal Complete:          17%

% Time Complete:          8.8%

Days left:                        735

MEASUREMENTS:

Waist                     45.5 in

Hips                       49.5 in

Thigh                     25.5 in

Upper Arm            14 in

Calf                         16.5 in

So here’s the scoop. According to Spark I have lost inches in all but 2 areas, my arms are the same, and my calf is 1.5 in bigger. What the hell? It’s b/c I’m not walking every day. Right? Fine I’ll stop being lazy. Geez I suck. Lol but I lost my goal pound for this week. I go shopping today so that means a lot of walking. I think the problem I’m having is that I love to walk with music. And I have not done that with my treadmill. I take my laptop and set it up with youtube or Netflix. So I’m going to go back to music and see if that gets me into the groove.

I also didn’t log my food this week, I don’t know why. I have had a very off week this last week. It’s like I came back from PAX and said “F@%& it” to my normal way of doing things. That means today I need to do a lot to get back on that ball. I have so many dishes to wash, and other cleaning things. lists to make, and games to NOT play. That’s my problem, I play my games all day and run out of time. So clean first, game after. Lol so game in a few days. Lol I feel silly. I should go start all that stuff now. TTFN!

Here's What's New

This may sound bad but today was the first day I didn’t need to hold my tummy back with my hands to read the scale! The treadmill is a big help. I can set my laptop up there and watch YouTube videos while I walk, or have my favorite music blasting at me. I tried playing minecraft while walking, but when I walk try to walk left or right in the game my body would try to do the same. So I need to train my brain a bit so that will work.

Watermelon is like my favorite snack now, I can eat tons (2 cups) and it’s less than 100 calories. I don’t know about you, but for me 2 cups fills me way up, Shaun eats my last few bites most times. And the watermelon we got at the farmers market is so sweet and yummy, ¼ of it is enough to both of us. I eat so many fruits and veggies now, it’s nuts. I totally get it now, the fruits and veggies fill me up and I don’t fill up on junk, fat, and carbs.

We even when out to eat one time this weekend, taco bell. I ordered the new burrito that they say you’ll love it or they replace it. Well they replaced it. It didn’t have any taste to me, it was just a wet burrito. So I got a crunch wrap, and I couldn’t eat it all. That means my stomach is smaller. That’s a good thing. Now normally I go the thing with the most meat and cheese, I didn’t like the crunch wrap b/c it had so much “green crap” on it. But this time it was the first thing I wanted. And it was so good, and I’m not craving it anymore. So that’s another good thing

O and this SparkPeople.com site is great. I’m totally a mini quest girl, and I love points, and that is what this site is all about. I love it! If anyone wants to join me let me know. My user name is JBrasington on that site. I know, not very creative but it’s me and I’m very proud of my new last name. Feel free to share any sites or tools you have found with me. I’m thinking about writing a mini blog about each one I know about and have tried. That way others can pick the one that would work best for them. I know that finding the program that works for you is important. I think I may have found mine.  Only time will tell.

I walked 10 miles last week, and I did walk 5 days, but not the min 2 miles. But I did have a 4 mile day, so that’s good. This week I will try for 10 miles or more. I would like to pass the 10 mile mark. I have hit that mark more than ones.

I will keep up the new way of eating, I have a few days left on my 14 day plan, and I will keep it up after. I did check out the south beach diet book, it has cooking ideas in it too. I haven’t pulled up the old menus yet. SparkPeole has a menu plan too that makes a shopping list. The only problem I’ve had so far is that we’ve spent almost $300 on food for 2 weeks. That’s a lot. Veggies and fruits are not good after long. so I have to get them weekly, and I forgot some things when we went shopping because I was flustered at have an overflowing shopping cart. And yes we still have food, but we are out of a few things that make the meal. so I need to play with things so that I can use what we have.

Also I got my gummy vitamins today. So I think that will help not only with my health, but with stopping food cravings. I also got a blood glucose tester for not that much. So not I can test when I feel that panic shaky feeling, and know if I need to eat or what, I stopped drinking coffee b/c I get shaky and it feels kinda like that start of low blood sugar.

But the really really big thing, Shaun when ahead and got me the dishwasher! I love him so much. So now that’s less time standing, more time walking. O man lets not play down the treadmill. That is going to make this  for me. so unless I’m sick, there is no reason not to walk. Rain, snow, 120 degree heat, hail, none of that can stop me now. Just my head hurting… but I think that will start to be less. It will never go away all the way, but as my health gets better I think I will have more pain free days.

As for my walk a mile test the results are mixed. So I will try 3 tests, on 3 days, and give the average and I’m not fit enough for the step test. I can’t take my heart rate myself b/c its too fast. But this week I will keep up on the push-ups and crunches too, 

Good night for now.  

Day 1 lunch

first of the tuna mix, it has celery, apples, and sweet relish. I put 1/4 cup of that on 2 slices of 100% wheat bread. I'm only eating half of the recommended fruit, 1/2 a small apple slice. remember that I'm splitting it into a snack as well.

I have to say this is the crunchiest tuna sandwich I've ever had. but its really pretty good. I thought it would have taken me longer to eat, but I was thinking about other things. the book I'm reading says not to think about other thing, or to do anything other than eat. we grow up in a world where we don't focus on food, so we eat without thinking. that means  we eat when were not hungry, or we finish all of our food without enjoying it. I'm trying to stop doing that.

I remember once when I was a kid and I look down to find all of my m&m's gone. I remember accusing my brother of stealing them white out of my hand. but my older sister told me I had eaten them. I didn't remember eating them because I was watching a show. how much food have I stuffed in my mouth without even realizing it? and how many meals have my scarf down in what seems like seconds?

eating at table reminds me of being a kid a lot. I don't know if it's because I only ate at a table as a kid, or if it's all the toys staring back at me. cthulhu seems to want a bite of my sandwich, while a murloc is glaring at my ice tea. don't forget the cute little reggae unicorn looking longingly at my apples. he doesn't know it yet but there's a zombie sneaking up behind him. yeah I think I was a little distracted.

I'm running a little behind today in house work, a few surprise things popped up. so I got to eat my lunch at home, and I will get walking as soon as I can. I feel kind of bad for not walking yesterday, but I know I got all kinds of exercise. I hope to be back in the full swing of things by next week.

do you remember that really bad migraine I haved? well it left behind a lingering headache all of last week and into this week. I think I have finally kicked it, but I am a little afraid it may come back. I should really look into getting a doctor soon. :)

by the way I will make a quick post with a picture of the toys on my table too.