Mini update

I got a job as a cook at the zoo, and I have no free time left it seems. Also its adding activity to my life, as well as forcing me to go a long time without water and no eating scheduled. I also get charged for a meal every day regardless of rather or not I eat it, so I have a salad everyday. So it has its ups and downs.

Weigh-in #5

WEIGH-IN:

Start weight:                     271.4 lb

Weight change:                 Lost 17.8 lbs

Current weight:                 254.2 lbs

BMI Status:                         Obese

The "week’s" change:

-4.8 lbs

Goal weight:                   145.0 lb

% Goal Complete:          14%

% Time Complete:       9.6%

Days left:                         330

I'm down almost 18 lbs, I'm still not working out like I said I would. My hips are -5 inches, and my thighs are -3 inches. The rest of my body is the same. Odd, yet great. 

Weigh-In #4

WEIGH-IN:

Start weight:                     271.4 lb

Weight change:                 Lost 12.4 lbs

Current weight:                 259 lbs

BMI Status:                         Obese

The "week’s" change:

-1 lbs

Goal weight:                   145.0 lb

% Goal Complete:          10.2%

% Time Complete:       7.9%

Days left:                         336

Yep, I lost even less. I did yoga 3 times this week and was active indoors, and I lost less. I believe its because yesterday I broke down and had Taco Bell for lunch yesterday. last week I started stepping on the scale every day. So I know yesterday I was 257.2, today I'm 259. I was mad and sad and this makes me not want fast food anymore. That is the positive I'm taking away from this. 

The ice and snow made it easy to get away with not jogging and not working out as hard. But this week I'm jogging in the hall if I need to. I will keep the yoga, but not as a real workout. Yoga is a small workout but I need to bust my butt a little more than this. 

Next week is the first week of the new month, so I will be doing a Feb. evaluation. I want to feel like I want to look back and feel good, I fear I will not. Here is to Hope. 

Goal Update 1

GOAL 1:
Weigh 145 lbs or less.
Complete a fun 5k
Strengthen my arms



Where am I now?
260.0 lbs
115.0 lbs to lose

GOAL 2:
Complete a fun 5k

Where am I now?
I want to try for the Nashville Run or Dye if they have it. Otherwise its going to be the Blacklight Run. 

For now I'm just jogging indoors to keep from the cold and ICE 3 times a week for 30 min. 


GOAL 3:
Strengthen my arms

Where am I now?
I'm incorporating 1 lb and 5 lb weights into my workouts. I'm also dedicating 30 min 3 times a week to this. 

GOAL 4:
Be able to belly dance.

Where am I now?
no where really. I've watched a few videos, This week I need to really make a move and DO SOMETHING. 

My Plan 1.1.16

1. I will follow Nutrisystem  for 3 months.
   In that time I will plan out my weekly meals based on the foods I am given, and I will plan my families meals at the same time and try to make the same meals for them that I will be eating.
2. I will do everything I can each week to achieve my Goals
3. I will also start using a Fitness Planner for tracking my weight and journaling.
4. I will record both a written and a video weekly update of my weight and progress on Sundays.
5. I will become more active in my daily life, to include a 5 day workout plan. 
6. I will keep using the Mindset Makeover, and I will keep following the weekly lessons.
7. I will set 2 to 3 weekly goals as part of my weekly posts and weigh in.

Weigh-In #3

WEIGH-IN:

Start weight:                     271.4 lb

Weight change:                 Lost 11.4 lbs

Current weight:                 260 lbs

BMI Status:                         Obese

The "week’s" change:

-1.4 lbs

Goal weight:                   145.0 lb

% Goal Complete:          9.4%

% Time Complete:       5.8%

Days left:                         344

First off, I am sorry I have not posted my Goal Update, I will do so today. Yesterday was Valentines Day and I had other things on my mind than writing. I am marking my agenda so as to not miss it next week. 

Now than.

I feel I have lost all of the easy weight I had (water shed mostly). Now I need to really work at this. I only did 2 workouts this week. I did one on the day I was having a hard time, and I worked hard for an hour. Today I jogged back and forth in my garage for a solid 45 min. I have no idea how far that is, so I am just counting it as prep. So this week I am not letting myself make up reasons to not workout in some way. I have Yoga, walking and jogging, and weights (I found my 1lb set and my 5lb set), and the internet is full of free workout videos I can cast to my TV. I WILL workout EVERY DAY. There is no reason not to. I like it, I feel better, I'm getting better fast, so its just my lazy ways that are stopping me. I can not be fit and lazy, my husband my get away with it but he had years in the armed forces to teach his body to stay lean and mean.  

As for my eating, this was a week of love, so there was a date night with Sushi with way less rice. I did eat some Sugar Free chocolate yesterday. I need to find some new fast veggies, and I need to break down and get some fat free ranch and other healthy dressings for my salads. Also I will get some sugar free creamer, so I can stop using the normal stuff. These things may only count for a few calories a day each, but if I have more than 1 coffee, or a salad with lunch and dinner, it adds up. I do now have alarms set on my phone for each meal and snack. This is not only to remind me to eat at snack time, but to keep me from eating when I don't need to. I'm taking control of my hunger and learning about Internal Hunger vs. External Hunger. 

I got some gum to help with the need to chew and for the sweet tooth attacks. I also got stuff to add to my water, I didn't really like it. I like water, Ice Cold Water. mmmmmm 

Feeling better

So I did work out for an hour, and I worked hard to some mood fitting music. Nothing like some Tool and NIN for jogging back and forth in a small space. I kept my heart rate up, and when I would walk/jog I found that I like slow jogging more than I ever thought. At the start of the hour I was jogging for the heat, by the end I was jogging for the wind on my skin. I think that is my target from now all. I finished my workout by taking the dog for a walk and my playlist started playing the Guardians of the Galaxy sound track, happy and uplifting. A great end.

Add to that a long talk with my loving husband, and some time with a friend, and I thing I'm going to make it. Today I hurt still from the workout, normal. I feel better. I'm not giving up.

I'm having a hard time

I'm doing well, I've lost 10 lbs really fast. but the new part of this is over, and now I am feeling down, and fat. I started doing videos about the food, just because there were not any out there when I was looking into joining Nutrisystem. But that means I do a video for each new food, and that means I have done 4 videos a day for 4 days. they are short, but I have to watch them before I post them. That means I have seen myself as I am, not as I am in my head. And I always though I looked ok, not a big round fat lady. But now I watch myself take a bite or 2 of each food, I see me eating. I bob my head to the tune of me eating if I like the food! How freaky is that?! I talk about food like its art, feeling out the textures and flavors. If I were not fat, I think I could eat for a living. How Bass Ackwards is that? 

I didn't know I was so big, I was 272 when this started. But I didn't see it. the mirror only shows a little of me, and I block out what I don't like. Now I see it, and I want to change it. But Its affecting me. I don't see why my husband would want to touch me, let alone think I'm sexy. I am grumpy, and moody, and today I just want to cry. I've started waking up at night and not being able to go back to sleep because before in my dreams I was thin. I dreamed myself how I want to look, now I dream me as fat, and alone. That may sound stupid to some people, but I am seeing the truth for the first time, and it keeps me up at night. 

Today is day 1 of my working out an hour everyday. I'm hoping it will help me work out how much I seem to hate fat me. Because its unfair to the people around me that are being so loving and kind for me to be moody and grumpy because I'm fat. 

How do I get past this? Or does it go away with the weight?

Weigh-in #2

WEIGH-IN:

Start weight:                     271.4 lb

Weight change:                 Lost 10 lbs

Current weight:                 261.4 lbs

BMI Status:                         Obese

The "week’s" change:

-1.6 lbs

Goal weight:                   145.0 lb

% Goal Complete:          7.7%

% Time Complete:        3.5%

Days left:                         351

From now on I will do Weigh-in Sunday mornings, and on the First Sunday of each month I will add my measurement changes as well. I will also add a Goal Update every Saturday evening regarding the 4 main goals. I will also work on organizing this blog now that I am posting so often about so may things. I will keep it all here, for me and for you. 

Journal #1, Goals and Motivation

GOAL 1:
Weigh 145 lbs or less.


WHY NOW?
I realized I'm slowly creeping my way up to the 300 lbs mark. I can't move fast to help when there is need to move fast (like to stop the dog from getting out of the yard). And I want to live to see my son grow up.


WHAT IS THE IMPORTANCE?
Being alive is important. Also feeling good and being happy are important.


HOW WILL MY LIFE BE IMPROVED?
I will feel better, I will be able to breath when I am active. I will feel good about how I look. I will be able to ware nice clothes. I will live longer. I will me more like the me I see in my head. It will be a positive impact on all parts of my life


Action Steps

•  Modify my eating habits with 3 month Nurtisystem to train my mind and body. 
•  Become active daily to begin to burn off fat.
•  Keep my blog and journal so that I can look back and keep moving ahead.
•  Learn skills to prevent falling back on old habits. 

Milestones:

1.  Get back to the 230 lbs that I was at before my son.
2.  Get below 200 lbs, brake that number line.
3.  Get below 180 lbs, the weight I was when I was 18.
4.  Get to my goal of 145 lbs!

Rewards:

1. Special Date Night with my hubby.
2. New Clothes. (this will repeat as I loss, but the first time is a big one) 
3.  Spa Day (I've always felt I was too fat)
4.  On top of finally being being 145 lbs, and all of the above, we will be saving to get me Abdominoplasty (tummy tuck). Something like $5k to $10k depending on things. 

GOAL 2:
Complete a fun 5k


WHY NOW?
I now live where there are all kinda of fun 5k events with foam, mud, dye, and water. I want to be able to do it so that we can do them as a family.


WHAT IS THE IMPORTANCE?
Being an active family help us bond and gives my son positive memories that will help him live a healthy life as well. Also, its fun!


HOW WILL MY LIFE BE IMPROVED?
Being fit enough to do a 5k is a marker for me to know that I can do other things as well. It a motivating health activity.


Action Steps

•  Use a Plan
•  Be consistent 
•  Pick a 5k for this summer and sign up
•  Make a jogging playlist to get me pumped

Milestones:

1. Jog 50 yards
2. Jog 100 yards
3. Jog 200 yards
4. Jog 1/4 mile
5. Jog 1/2 mile
6. Jog 1 mile
7. Jog 2 miles within APFT Standards
8. Finish 5k!

Rewards:

1. big hug
2. hot bath
3. hot bath
4. hot bath
5. hot bath and i don't cook dinner 
6. hot bath and i don't cook dinner 
7. hot bath and i don't cook dinner 
8. $200 to spend exclusively on self.

GOAL 3:
Strengthen my arms


WHY NOW?
Right now my right arm falls out of socket all the time, even in my sleep.


WHAT IS THE IMPORTANCE?
The doctor said that the muscles were too weak to hold in my arm. If I don't get the strength back soon, they want to open me up, and maybe put a pin in to hold my arm in. my dad has a pin in his arm, so does one of my older brothers. Its painful and cam tale 6 months to a year to recover. No thank you.


HOW WILL MY LIFE BE IMPROVED?
It will save me lots of pain, money, and time. Also, hot arms


Action Steps

•  Begin using resistance bands
•  Push-Ups
•  Ask Husband for more ideas
•  Get real weights

Milestones:

1. Can do 10 girl Push-Ups
2. Perform a Push-Up
3. Perform a Pull-Up
4. APFT Push-Up Standards passed with 60%

Rewards:

1. Massage from husband
2. Purchase Weight Set
3. Purchase Pull-Up Bar
4. Pole Dance Bar

GOAL 4:
Be able to belly dance.


WHY NOW?
After I had my son my left hip never went back into place, it means sometimes I have a limp, and it hurts a lot of the time.


WHAT IS THE IMPORTANCE?
Like my arm, I have been told by doctor that I need to strengthen my hip muscles and abs. There is little they can do to help me, hips are not something easy to fix.


HOW WILL MY LIFE BE IMPROVED?
 It turns out belly dancing is great for doing what I need, and it is fun and can be sexy. I would not be in pain all the time. It will help me look better. And other reasons that relate to my hubby. :3


Action Steps

• Watch YouTube Videos
• Create belly dancing multireddit
• Locate active local communicate + engage
• Practice Yoga using above techniques

Milestones:

1.  30 minutes of private belly dancing
2.  30 minutes of private belly dancing 3x week
3.  belly dance for my husband
4.  be able to belly dance for entertainment

Rewards:

1. Sign up for a class.
2. Get Belly dancing equipment
3. Get Belly dancing outfit 
4. Get Ribbon/Fire Dancing Equipment

These are the 4 goals I will be working on. They are just the first 4, but I feel they will be fun and I can start now.